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Thank you kindly and welcome to another major lame journal the topic of today

The Advantages Of Being Chased By An Insane Person With A Chainsaw!

{1} A chainsaw is heavy, if you are faster then a turtle or sloth you will be okay just don’t look back!

{2} An insane person does not think logically so even though you wouldn’t be either concidering the circumstances you would be reasonably matched.

{3} Chainsaws run on fuel the more you fuck ass around trying to hide from a chainsaw murdering lunatic the more chance there is that he/she will eventually run out of fuel.

{4} A thrown chainsaw does not travel a large distance due to weight and gravity {thank god} so unless you’re the type to stand in the face of the hunter screaming WHY ME GOD. You will probably survive.

{5} Chainsaw murderers go to jail victims go to the nut house both have great security if you survive you will be safe…at least I think you will be

OKAY

So there’s the pro’s wasn’t that fastenaiting….